Saturday, May 24, 2008

Devils -- Invitation to Write #65

For Writers:

My wife has played with Ouija boards and she has little doubt that they work.

While in junior high, she had a bunch of her girlfriends over for a slumber party, and they decided it would be great fun to make their own Ouija board. Apparently someone from the other side answered, and it knew things about the girls, spooky things, that none of the girls knew individually about each other.

Eventually, the spirit identified itself as a demon, and loud crashing footsteps ran up and down the stairs right outside her room. All the girls took their fingers off the board in fright, except my wife. She pulled and pulled, but it took all her effort to get her finger off the simple cardboard dial. What was holding it there?

They took the Ouija outside to an empty field to burn it, but even though there was no wind, all of their matches burned out immediately upon being lit. And when they finally did light the board, it wouldn't burn.

I have to admit I'm pretty skeptical, probably because I wasn't there, and nothing like that has ever happened to me. But I love hearing the story, and it's always a hit at dinner parties. :)

Do you believe in demons and devils? Have you had any experiences that helped you to form your belief?

"People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." -- Anne Rice

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Boy Named Ramon -- Invitation to Write #64

For Writers:

My mom decided it would be fun to stick me with the middle name "Ramon." First, nobody pronounces it correctly, as they usually say "Ray-mund." Or, some have fun with the latin implications by heavily twirling the Spanish "r" and saying "Ruhhh-MOAN." According to my mom, however, the name is simply pronounced "Ruh-mon."

You might have noticed that most people have absolutely no say in what they are named. That honor usually goes to your parents, which means most children this year will be named either Jacob or Emily. And we don't even have control over our nicknames. I knew a guy in college that we stuck with the name "Slick," and pretty quickly, he ceased to be "Travis" altogether.

If you're female you can marry into a name as well. One guy in Texas actually did take his wife's last name recently, but it required a court battle for him to do so. Of course my wife always thought that it would have been cool for me to take her last name. She liked the soap opera ring to "Bret Bauer."

If you had the power to go by another name, what would you choose? What do you you like/dislike about the name/nickname/married name that you inherited? Does your name fit your personality?

"I sometimes think I was born to live up to my name. How could I be anything else but what I am having been named Madonna? I would either have ended up a nun or this." -- Madonna

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Force Is Strong: Obama vs. Clinton, Star Wars Style

Gotta love the creativity of Youtube. :)

Swift Kids for Truth -- the Hillary's Cookies Commercial -- Hillary Clinton aka Cookie Monster

Stop Hillary now :)

Pissed through the Years

Bret's disclaimer for sensitive readers: contains language, but read it anyway. It's really funny! (source:

On a spectrum of emotions, love and hate are the two extremes. Pissed is somewhere beyond hate.

Famous Incidences
Throughout history, there have been many historical events which were influenced or directly caused by being pissed, some good, some bad. Below are a few:
4000 BC - God creates the Earth. makes a guy and girl. the girl ate the forbidden fruit. God is pissed.
3900 BC - Cain is pissed at Abel. Cain kills him and God and Adam are seriously pissed
3800 BC - God is pissed at everyone but Noah. Everybody and dinosaurs are pissed when they got drowned.
3200 BC - Egyptians treats Jews as slaves. God is pissed and sents Moses. AT the same year, Pharaoh's son dies, and is pissed. Pharaoh goes after Moses in Red Sea, but dies. He is pissed.
480 BC - Xerxes attempts to take over Greece. SPARTAAAAAAAAAANs and other Greeks are pissed. Leonidas of Sparta gets last laugh. Xerxes is pissed.
58 BC - Julius Caesar gets pissed and decides to invade Gaul.
44 BC - Several Roman Senators get pissed and conspire to kill Julius Caesar. They are successful, but end up making a lot of other people pissed.
37 BC - Augustus becomes pissed and sick of Marc Antony's shit, and decides to split the Roman Empire.
36 AD - Pontius Pilate has a bad day, and becomes pissed. Some important guy dies.
476 AD - Rome falls. Roman citizens are pissed.
769 AD - Arabs are tired and pissed at having to chisel everything into rock and force the Chinese to introduce paper to the region.
1000 AD - Earth has officially lasted 1000 years since the birth of that one guy who died in 36 AD. Everybody is absolutely pissed.
1111 AD - The year 1111 is a year that can be read backwards and forwards, as well as upside down. This scares people. Some are pissed.
1492 AD - Christopher Columbus "discovered" America. Native Americans are fucking pissed.
1775 AD - The United States starts a revolution against Britain. Needless to say, King George III is pissed.
1789 AD - The French start their own revolution, but are accused of being copy-cats. The French become pissed, but nothing happens.
1812 AD - War of 1812 happens. Nobody is pissed, except for France who is still pissed about being called copy-cats.
1830 AD - Everybody is pissed at their primitive tools and unfulfilling lives, so the Industrial Revolution starts in Britain.
1861 AD - The South gets pissed and secedes. The American Civil War starts.
1865 AD - Lincoln is killed in a theatre, people in the North is superpissed-off.
1912 AD - A particular iceberg in the Northern Atlantic gets pissed, and the RMS Titanic sinks as a result.
1914 AD - Archduke Franz Ferdinand gets his shit ruined. Apparently, this pissed some people off, and World War I starts.
1929 AD - Great Depression strikes, America and everywhere is pissed off.
1939 AD - Germany is pissed. World War II starts.
1945 AD - Atoms get pissed and start to split. Two Japanese cities are wiped off the map as a result. No biggy.
1969 AD - Earth sucks, America goes to the moon, Russia is pissed.
1997 AD - Princess Diana dies. Everybody is permanently pissed at the paparazzi.
1998 AD - Windows 98 is released. Consumers are pissed at the memory leaks.
2000 AD - Earth survives another 1000 years. God is impressed, but "End of the World" theorists are pissed. So is Prince, because it's not 1999 anymore.
2008 AD - You are reading this, and you are pissed.

The Weight of Memory -- Invitation to Write #63

For Writers:

For those of us that have trouble remembering where we left our car keys, it might seem like a blessing, but for Jill Price, remembering is a curse.

Price is the only documented case of "hyperthymestic syndrome" and she lives with every single memory as though it is still happening. Her husband died a few years ago, but in her mind, he dies with her daily.

Most of us keep journals so that we can remember, but why does Price feel compelled to write down memories that she knows she will never lose? Perhaps just to prove to others that she's not making up the things she claims to remember? Or to prove to herself that she's not insane?

How much do memories weigh?

What is the one thing you never want to forget? What is one memory that continues to weigh you down?

"The past is never dead, it is not even past." -- William Faulkner

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Senator Mike Gravel and the Obama Girl

The candidates who have no chance in hell of actually winning are the most fun to follow.

Remember former Alaska Seneator Mike Gravel? Of course not. He was one of the "also rans" for the Democratic nomination. Anyway, he's now apparently joined the Libertarian Party so that he can keep running, but it looks like former Republican and former Georgia congressman Bob Barr has the Libertarian nomination wrapped up.

What Bob Barr doesn't have, though, is a video with the Obama Girl! Watch it. Yes, it's painful, but doesn't it make you wish Gravel could win now??

Animated Graffiti

Here's probably one of the more weird things you'll ever see. From Argentina, I believe.