The Writer's Poke

For Writers: In 1997 I decided it was time to eliminate about 20 hair metal bands from my CD collection; although I still liked the groups, I just felt like it was time to make a clean break. So one night I took all of my Styper and Warrant and Whitesnake, et al, to the factory where I worked, and I gave them all away. And then I immediately regretted it. Eventually, I would replace every single CD that I had tried to purge from my musical soul. I had to admit it to myself: I'm stuck with the groups I love. I will never forsake them again, and I will not feel embarrassed for liking what I like. On the other hand, just like the Ford Focus car commercial where a driver gets outed for liking Michael Bolton, we probably all have music on our iPods that embarrasses us. For me, I suppose a guilty pleasure still on my iPod would be the pseudo-lesbian Russian duo t.a.T.u. In fact, I have both of their albums, but in my defense, I do not have any Bolton, Celine Dion, Yanni, or Liberace. Act...

For Writers: In 2004, Frank Warren acted on a simple idea. Give folks postpaid postcards with his address on them, and invite them to send him their secrets. And believe or not, people did. Each week, Warren posts a new batch of secrets to his blog -- http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/ , and over the past few years, he's collected around 100,000 secrets. Some of these have also been published in book form. Critics of Warren's blog and books say that he is somehow "exploiting" the people that send him their secrets -- as if secrets were meant to remain, well, secret. And although his blog continues to be advertisement-free, they claim that he has no business profiting off of others with the sale of the Postsecret books. On the other hand, people visit his blog by the tens of thousands, and he has won quite a few awards and public acclaim for what started out as a pretty simple idea. Would you send Frank Warren, or any stranger, one of your secrets? If so, which one wo...

Note that Jesus hails from Salt Lake City. He he he

In respect of the music, I give you Mr. Rick Astley from 1988. (I like it 1:03 into the song when he realizes that singing with a tie on is never a good idea.)

Click on the ad for a bigger view. An ad from 1948, back in the "good old days" when life was simplier. First you could disinfect your countertops, and then you could use the same product to, well, you get the idea.

Do you like the Garfield comic strip, but just can't stand the cat in it? If so, check out the Garfield without Garfield version. It's just about the strangest thing ever. http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

Click for bigger view. Comments?

Yes, there's something called the World Egg Throwing Federation, and I think Vince McMahon is behind it. My favorite event is called "Russian Egg Roulette." What is that, you ask? Well, five of the eggs are hard boiled, but one is straight from the chicken. If you feel lucky, you just smash the egg on your forward, and just hope and pray that the yolk's not on you! By the way, in 8th grade, me and Mark Agulair were the tag team champions of the egg throw and catch long distance competition. http://www.bbc.co.uk/lincolnshire/content/articles/2008/05/23/egg_throwing08_feature.shtml

Call me an 85 year old 2 nd grade teacher, but I like the idea that everyone should remain seated when attending a public event. I didn't pay $100 for my ticket, Bubba , just so I could see the back of your skull. I applaud the Kansas City Chiefs for providing "Rules of Conduct" for its fans. Others might think it's silly, unenforceable , and archaic. Not me. I love it. http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Fans-are-asked-to-treat-Chiefs-games-like-bowlin?urn=nfl,91291

Exchange rate to the U.S. Dollar isn't too good right now. :)

For Writers: Any hack will tell you that writing is hard work, and maybe it is. But for those of us that call ourselves "writers," you'd think that we'd enjoy stringing the sentences together. Most of the time, we probably do. For whatever reason, though, there are days, weeks, even years, when we'd rather be watching Infomercials on TV, cleaning out the kitty litter, or counting the popcorn sparkles on the ceiling. In other words, there are times when we'd rather be doing anything and everything other than sitting down to write. Sitting down, for some reason, is always the hardest part. Generally speaking, I find it more difficult to write when I actually have the time. When I don't have the time to write, that's when my motivation is highest. If only I had the time, I have often thought to myself, I would be writing. Then when I have the time, the motivation isn't there. I just don't wanna. If you want to be a writer, you have to learn how to...

For Writers: Do you remember Coed Naked T-shirts? They made them from 1990 through 2005, and they were quite popular my senior year in high school. The basic premise behind Coed Naked t-shirts was the "innocent" slogan that related to the sport or activity depicted on the shirt. No one, such as a parent or school official, could get mad at you for wearing the shirt, because if they thought the shirt's message was lewd, well, then it was just them reading their own deviance into the shirt's perfectly upbeat and positive message. I personally wore the Coed Naked Volleyball t-shirt, and the slogan was: "You score on the floor." My all-time personal favorite was probably the Coed Naked Pool t-shirt. The slogan for that one was: "Get felt on the table." Why did the manufacturer discontinue making the shirts in 2005? Maybe it was just the end of an era. In honor of the t-shirt that was a part of my formative years, I'm thinking of coming out with a...

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It�s Alyson Hannigan An interesting explanation by the FCC this week...

Some silliness with Octavia and my wife and my new MacBook.

Which is more real: the Bible or a comic book? Trick question?? (Click on the comic for a bigger view.)

For Writers: According to http://www.livescience.com/ , on the list of the "Top 10 Bad Things That Are Good for You," chocolate came in at #2 and sex was #1: http://www.livescience.com/health/top_10_badthings_good-1.html This sparked the thought: would it be easier to live without chocolate, or to live without sex? I don't know that I have a ready-made answer for that, but as I reviewed the other items on the list, I don't think it would be too difficult to live without most of the rest. Beer? Yep, I could do that. Anger? I wish I could do that. Coffee? Sure. LSD? Never tried it, never will. Sunlight? Have you seen how pale I am? I mean, come on! Maggots? Not a Bret favorite. Marijuana? I don't inhale. Red wine? Not my scene. But giving up chocolate or sex? That would be tough! If you had to give up chocolate or sex for the rest of your life, would it be a difficult choice? Explain. Is there anything else on the list that you simply could not imagine living witho...

For Writers: Call me naive, but I was 35 before I realized that friendships aren't naturally supposed to last forever. The first time it happened, I thought that I then knew what a divorce felt like, and I chalked it up to "irreconcilable differences." We were 14 and I still liked Hulk Hogan; Greg, however, had moved on to the pursuit of tail. Maybe he made the right choice, and it must have seemed to him that me dropping the elbow on him in the hallway was a public liability to the new image he was working. To this day, I still think about other friendships that have ended, wondering what, if anything, went wrong. There had to be more to it than physical distance, for example. So what if I moved 1000 miles away? So what if my friend joined the Navy? Aren't long distance relationships possible? Sure, there are the friends that you call up after a six month period of "radio silence," and you go on like no time had passed. Other friends from the past, though, ...

For Writers: Benny had fewer friends than a hermit, but he liked to play basketball. Most of the guys played baseball during recess, but I wasn't interested in that. So that's how Benny and I started playing basketball together. We couldn't be friends. I was still the new kid at school, and I didn't want to kill my chances at popularity by befriending an outcast. Looking back at it now, there really wasn't anything wrong with Benny. He was simply a bit small and perhaps a bit immature for his age. Economically, he certainly dressed as though he was poor, and while on the court I would learn that his home life wasn't the best. His father was an alcoholic and didn't spend much time around the house. Benny decided it would be cool to invite himself over to stay the night. I say that, but the truth is, I probably invited him. Whatever the case, I immediately tried my best renege on the invitation, fearing that others would learn that Benny was staying over at my...

Everything dies, but at least the comedy lives on. I had the chance to see Carlin in Las Vegas a couple of years ago. Some might have argued that the older Carlin had lost a step or two, but even if he had, he was still far ahead of the pack. The man was brilliant. Yes, he was a tad bit political, and he didn't care what "comfort zone" you had -- religion or politics or whatever. He stepped into the zone and made you uncomfortable. More importantly, he made you think. What an amazing thing for a comedian to do, but actually, that's what all the great ones do. Humor with purpose.

You might not have noticed, but I decided to change the name of my writing prompts from "Invitation to Write" to "Poke." I figured that people like pokes better than they like invitations. Invitations are just to easy to ignore, too. When you're poked, you naturally respond. :)