The Writer's Poke

Perhaps what fascinates me most about Vanessa Carlton's song "I Don't Want to Be a Bride" is the idea of "want" itself. Do people "want" to be married? Statistics show that 80% of people marry at least once by age 40. And on average, women tend to marry at a younger age than men. Averages and statistics do not address the issue of "want," however. Marriage is a social institution designed to regulate a biological drive. That doesn't sound very sexy, but that's what it is, and to deny the social pressure to marry, or to deny the biological drive to pair and mate is to overlook a fundamental reality. In other words, to suggest that people "want" to marry is incorrect. People marry simply because it's a societal expectation and/or because they are driven to marry, in part, by biology. With regard to marriage, it seems that the only real way to utilize free agency would be to reject marriage all-together. Disclai...

In 1997, Kevin called me. The call was unexpected, as I hadn't seen nor heard from him in six years. I don't recall that we talked for long; he was just checking in because he had had a dream, and in this dream, I died. His call was just to make sure I wasn't dead. Although we have since become friends on facebook, I don't think Kevin has ever posted anything to my wall, and we've never exchanged emails. I'm not expecting another phone call anytime soon, either, as it's been fourteen years now since the last one. And then last night, he was in a dream of mine. In my dream, he didn't die. Instead, we were at the Mattoon, Illinois, Amtrack station, except it looked and felt more like Dante's Inferno. First class patrons used the train above ground, but the station had nine lower stations below ground. Kevin and I had first class tickets, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I went from station to station, all the way down to the lowest-level . ...

If this didn't result in the end of mankind, then probably nothing ever will...

Rudolf Schenker, Scorpions Marie Fredriksson, Roxette

Addiction is one of those funny words that has fallen into imprecise, general usage. Can someone really be addicted to Cheetos, for example? But when we are questioned about eating the whole bag, we might excuse our gluttony by saying, "These things are so addictive!" Granted, addictions are real, but what is the difference between an addiction and a lack of willpower? And, are all "addictions" necessarily negative? I have a passion for reading and travel and writing, but could I ever be addicted to these things? What about people? Can we be addicted to people? Does such a concept even make sense? I guess the overuse of the term bothers me, because it removes individual control, while at the same time apologizing for conduct that might be viewed as wrong by others. This weekend, I came home to find my white cat with an orange face. Apparently she likes Cheetos, too, but she never claimed to be addicted to them. What are your addictions? "Just caus...