The Writer's Poke

Ben Stiller makes a very believable 16-year-old nerd. Cameron Diaz, too, can pass as the pretty popular high school girl. I found that I really liked the opening set-up more than most of what followed. Sometimes I find myself writing a different movie than the one written. It's a bad habit, I guess, but that opening segment was so good, I just found myself a little disappointed when it then jumped ahead 13 years to the present. The movie as written: Ted (Stiller) is a nerd, but for whatever reason, the pretty girl, Mary (Diaz), likes him. She is the one who actually invites him to Prom. Stiller's smile, mouthful of braces, is so sweet. He looks like Charlie Brown got asked to the Prom by the Little Redheaded girl. Unfortunately, they never make it to Prom. A ridiculous series of events in the bathroom lands Ted in the hospital, and Mary moves away. That's odd. As nice and as considerate as Mary is, she doesn't visit Ted in the hospital, and she never contacts him again....

"My sister hit and killed a deer. My mother sees through this euphemism, for it is a euphemism. Everything that happens in this city is a euphemism. Mother understands in a second what this deer blood and fur means. And somehow, she's right. She can read our family and our civic secrets, our desire and our shame, as easily as she can read a newspaper." -- Guy Maddin (narrator) In July 2015, I spent the night in Winnipeg. I had the free time to stay longer, but one night was enough. Even in the warmer months, Winnipeg somehow managed to maintain its gloomy winter exterior. I would like to go back some day to see if it's actually like I remember it, but who knows it I will. Even though I live in Minnesota, it's still an eight-hour drive, plus the time spent crossing the border. But today I went back to Winnipeg with Guy Maddin as my tour guide. I need Maddin in my life. So many films are predictable, cut-by-numbers affairs. They're supposed to be. That's wh...

"The day I die will be like any other. Only shorter." -- Samuel Beckett Iris (Naomi Watts) is a writer. She was a student of Walter's (Bill Murray), who was also a writer.  The bare outline of Walter's life is provided in the movie, but not much more. He had three wives, multiple girlfriends, and retired from teaching, perhaps in disgrace. What his misconduct might have been isn't explained, but he did, we know, have a relationship with Iris when she was his student a number of years -- maybe 20? -- in the past.   Early in the film, Iris mentions that most student stories start at the beginning of a day, but few start at the day's end. Perhaps that's a clue for how this film starts, which is essentially with the ending of Walter's life.  I have to admit that the film pulled one over on me. I only watched this film because Bill Murray was in it, but his actual screen time in the film might be 5 minutes. This film is a vehicle solely for Naomi Watts and ...

"Scarlett! Look at me! I've loved you more than I've ever loved anyone and I've waited for you longer than I've ever waited for any woman." -- Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind (1939) Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is not Rhett Butler, but once he sees Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) he's willing to wait. Even if that means waiting a whole month, which he technically does. During that period, he even agrees to do other things that Barbara suggests, such as taking a night class. She "rewards" him in the hallway outside her apartment, but as I say, technically, she forces him to wait a whole month.  (When Scarlett Johanson prepared for her role in this one, I feel like she watched a bunch of Fran Dresser "The Nanny" episodes and followed that up with a few Mariah Carey interviews when she's especially playing up her New York accent.  Other viewers have pointed out the accents, so I won't belabor the point... but man... are they meant to s...

It's called Bedtime Story, and so it's a nice touch that the opening credits are done like a children's pop-up book. If you didn't know better, though, might you be led to believe that the movie would be a children's tale? The movie even begins "Once upon a time." Perhaps the point is that Lawrence (David Nevin), a con artist, is a fanciful storyteller. And like all fairy tales, perhaps this intro puts us in the mindset of cautionary tale.  It's a much different opening than used in the remake Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988). And Marlon Brando as Freddy... quite different from Steve Martin.  The overall story is more or less the same.  Janet (Shirley Jones) is a much-simplified character, however, and this one difference makes some reviewers prefer Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I would agree that I probably prefer the DRS ending, but the Bedtime story ending is pretty sweet, too, with some nice lines, such as Lawrence admitting that Freddy is likely happier,...

The montage of Lawrence (Michael Caine) teaching Freddy (Steve Martin) how to be a refined gentleman reminded me of the montage of Mr. Miyagi teaching the Karate Kid. I guess I have mixed feelings about this one. Although I've seen it a couple of times before and remember enjoying it, I didn't really remember much from it -- other than the scene with Freddy, as Ruprecht, going to the bathroom at the dining room table. This time around, I found myself enjoying the opening, not being that engaged during the middle, and then liking the ending. What happens towards the ending is rather predictable, but I do like the ending. Caine looks older, and I take it his character is supposed to be older, but in reality, he's only two years older than Martin, whose character, I'm guessing, is supposed to be younger -- in 1988, Caine is 44 and Martin is 42. What I didn't realize until now is that this film is a remake of Bedtime Story (1964), which stars David Niven and Marlon Bran...

At the end of the film, Theodore (Gene Wilder), wearing Charlotte's (Kelly LeBrock) husband's bathrobe, jumps off the ledge of her apartment.  On the way down, he has an epiphany. Why was he chasing after the Woman in Red? He has a perfectly good wife and family at home. At that moment, he decides he will never act so impulsively and crazy again.  Then he sees the blonde photographer down below. She's taking his picture, and he decides he likes the look of her legs. Maybe, just maybe... but then the frame freezes in midfall. Has Teddy learned his lesson? Apparently not. The blonde photographer is Sandra Wilder. For a second, I was hoping she was his real-life wife, but when I Googled her, I quickly learned they were no relation. Gene Wilder is a stage name, after all, and Sandra's last name, just a coincidence (and Wilder was married to co-star Gilda Radner at the time).  I did find out that Sandra Wilder was the girl in the Scorpions' "No One Like You" (1...

Last week, I watched Original Sin (2001, Antonio Banduras and Angelina Jolie). Going into the film, I was completely clueless that it was a remake of Mississippi Mermaid (1969), and I'm guessing many or most viewers of Original Sin would likewise be surprised to learn about the original. I only happened to see one user review mention Mississippi Mermaid in its review of Original Sin, and it made me curious. Even that review was a little incomplete, as it didn't mention that this film was written and directed by legendary film director François Truffaut. To me, it was almost like watching a remake of a film originally done by Hitchcock, without somehow knowing that Hitchcock did the film first... (I should point out, sometimes it happens the other way. For example, I just watch The War of the Roses, 1989, not even knowing that the remake, The Roses, came out in 2025. Do I plan to see The Roses? I may, but not anytime soon.) Mississippi Mermaid starts off with multiple voiceovers...

Nancy M. Pimental wrote this one. From 1998-2001, she was a staff writer on South Park, which kind of gives you a sense of the humor likely to be used in this movie. She's also credited with writing 25 episodes of Shameless (TV series with 134 episodes, 2011-2021 and a current IMDb rating of 8.5). I include this because it would be so easy to write-off The Sweetest Thing as juvenile and stupid. And yes, it probably is juvenile and stupid, but in a Harold and Kumar (2004) way. That's the film that immediately came to mind as I started watching this. And yet, Sweetest Thing has a 5.2 IMDb rating, and Harold and Kumar has a 7.0 IMDb rating. I don't think that's fair. Is it just because this film features women being crude, whereas we're more accepting of crudeness from men? Roger Ebert, for example, rated Sweetest Thing a Thumbs Down (1.5/4 stars). In his assessment, he admitted that he loved watching the three female leads, admiring how committed and into their roles ...

Will Ferrell is not the most subtle or understated actor out there, but the movie does have nice attention to small details, and I can appreciate the "craftsmanship" of his writing. One of my favorite scenes is when Ron and his crew are attacked "Guys and Dolls" style by the #2 news team. That would have been a good scene, but then the #3 news team shows up. Then the PBS news team. Then the Spanish news team. It's that kind of thing that makes this film a little better than average for me. Another scene that I liked is when Ron's dog survives the dropkick attack from the motorcyclist Ron hits with a burrito (Jack Black). We see the dog again as Ron and Veronica are trapped in the Bear exhibit at the San Diego Zoo. It's the dog who is able to communicate with the bears, securing their release. The dog's dialogue is pure Will Ferrell. I haven't watched any other Will Ferrell films. At least not on purpose. When he was on SNL, I was a big fan. Certa...

Dan Castellaneta is the actor who plays Homer Simpson. But in this movie, all he does is sit in Gavin's (Danny DeVito) office and listen to the story of what happened to Barbara and Oliver Rose (Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas). Gavin is a divorce lawyer; he works at the same firm Oliver worked at. To be honest, Oliver and Barbara look like they have an okay marriage. Oliver might be a little condescending and controlling, but Barbara seems used to that. She's found a house that she's proud of making their own. She's started her own business. Everything might go along just fine. After all, they've been married for at least 17 years. But when Oliver has what at first seems to be a heart attack, Barbara initially starts for the hospital but stops when she realizes that she's no longer in love with her husband. She actually hopes he will die. This reminded me of something that Kate Chopin might write -- the classic "The Story of an Hour" moment, when ...

In the sequel to Romancing the Stone, we start off on a ship. No attempt at realism here. Definitely on a Sound Stage. Jack (Michael Douglas) and Joan (Kathleen Turner) are fighting off pirates that for some reason look straight out of Mad Max.  Then cut to "reality." Joan and Jack are actually living it up on a yacht. In the last movie, they had planned a romantic year of sailing around the world. And here they are, off the coast of the French Riveria, six months into the trip. She's typing her latest novel, but this time, instead of thinking her "pure cheese" writing is good, she recognizes just how horrible it is, and throws her typewriter overboard. It seems like an ill omen for the sequel, as what was lauded and applauded in the first movie might now be seen with sober clarity in the sequel. The stuff she writes is shite, and maybe it's also the movie admitting its store is shite.   The sequel was rushed into production after the original film did bette...

This is the first in a trio of films with Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito -- the other two being The Jewel of the Nile (1985) and The War of the Roses (1989). The movie opens in the American West, and the story is pure cheese. Cut to Joan Wilder (Turner) sitting at her typewriter. She's a romance novelist, and she's just finished her latest novel. She's pleased with the way it came together at the end. Based on the opening sequence, are we then supposed to excuse the movie itself for being pure cheese? My thought being: This is a framing device, and starting off with one of Joan Wilder's romance novels makes little sense, unless we're being prepared for the movie itself as being another one of her romance novels. Maybe one that "really happened" to her, but one that she will then fictionalize and write as a romance novel. As I watched it, I thought: The quality of the script and the filming is on par with the 1980s TV show The A-Team... ...

This is Lon Chaney's only non-silent film, a remake of the 1925 The Unholy Three. He would die of lung cancer at the age of 47 after the filming of this movie.  What might interest me most about this version is Charles Gemora in the Gorilla suit. In the 1925 version, they just used a monkey, and sometimes they'd play with camera distortion to make the monkey appear bigger and more dangerous. In the 1930 version, it's just Gemora in a Gorilla suit. Convincing? Not really, but the brief bio on Gemora I read was interesting.  Gemora began his movie career just by hanging around the entrance of Universal Studios. According to IMDb, the Filipino Gemora was just 5' 5", and he would have a 30-year career in film, usually uncredited in the Gorilla suit. When he wasn't the Gorilla, he was worked as a make-up artist. The list of films he worked on is quite impressive, including: Island of Lost Souls (1932), Double indemnity (1944), and The Ten Commandments (1956) as a ma...

Professor Echo (Lon Chaney) is a ventriloquist at the Carnival. His life philosophy is simple: Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry. His pickpocket partner is Rosie O'Grady (Mae Busch). He loves her, but she happens to love Hector (Matt Moore). The Carnival doesn't make a lot of money for Professor Echo and the other "freaks," I'm guessing. So, Echo also dresses up as an old woman and runs a pet store on the side, as you do. Eventually, he gets together with the World's Strongest Man and the World's Smallest Man. They form a faction called the Unholy Three, and they case a rich person's house so they can still some rubies. While Echo never wanted things to go violent, the other two men in the Unholy Three don't have the same scruples. The owner of the rubies dies, and the men decide to frame the murder on Hector. But Echo is a good guy. He can't let Hector go to the chair for something the Unholy Three did, even if that would clear the way fo...

Did I watch this last night, or was it a fever dream? I guess I've discovered I want to know what kind of story I'm watching. I expected this one to be something of a comedy. Sometimes I will cheat a little and scroll through Letterboxd reviews or critic reviews. If they write stuff like "dark comedy," then I will expect some sort of comedy element.  I wasn't really seeing that as I watched. I mean, sure, I get that some of it is "dark" and perhaps somewhat absurd/comedic, but I was trying to fit this movie into neo-noir. Ultimately, that's what I think it is. You have Frank (Steve Martin), a dentist with a successful practice, fall for a Susan (Helena Bonham Carter), a drug addict. Is this plausible? Is she really that much more seductive and attractive than Jean (Laura Dern), fiancée and a dental associate that works in his clinic? Does Susan fulfill some sort of fantasy? Does Frank really fall for her just because she will have sex with him in the...

I'm sure I only noticed this because I watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) and Weird Science (1985) back-to-back, but both John Hughes films freeze on the chaos/change agent character at the end of the film. In Planes, the freeze is on the smiling Del (John Candy); and in Weird Science, the freeze is on the winking, smiling, and now high school boys' gym coach, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). I thought about that for a while, because maybe Del and Lisa are more similar than you'd think on the surface. In any event, they serve similar purposes in each movie. But when you start watching Weird Science, you're not worried about the freeze shot at the ending. In fact, although I've seen the film a number of times, I've never thought about it being a "Hughes" movie. However, his Chicago fingerprints are all over it. (Even in Planes, another movie I don't immediately think of as a Hughes movie, when they show the exterior of Neal's -- Steve Martin -- ...

This is a John Hughes film. I never really think about it as such, because Steve Martin and John Candy are front in center in my mind. I should mention that this movie utilizes micro-scenes from known actors very well. By that, I mean, the movie opens with Kevin Bacon and Steve Martin (Neale) racing for the same New York taxi. Bacon is only in the movie for that scene, maybe three minutes tops, but it's a cool scene, and it was nice that Bacon played the part. It seems to add to the movie. Even shorter, Ben Stein plays an airline counter agent. He has one line and is in the movie for less that 20 seconds. But you notice him. The use of "micro-scene performances" by known actors like Bacon and Stein interests me, because sometimes they seem "important" and "useful" when the parts are being played by someone we recognize. Other times, you might notice someone in a movie with a bit part, and you are left wondering, "Why did they bother to agree to be...

I thought of this movie as an invitation to visit Steve Martin's brain. It started out weird, but if you want to see the really weird stuff, check out the John Lithgow deleted scenes. L.A. Story might be an appropriate title, but it's not too memorable. I remember "Dirty Rotten Scandals" and "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," but when I woke up the next morning, it took me a minute to remember what this film was called. It works within the Rom Com genre, and it features Harris (Steve Martin) and Sara (Victoria Tennant). He's a "wacky weekend weatherman," -- you have to be wacky in L.A., because the weather supposedly never changes. She's a British journalist in L.A. on assignment. In real life, Martin and Tennant were actually married when this film was made; I read a review or two that suggested that maybe Tennant wasn't the best person to cast in the role, but I thought she was fine, and a good contrast to Sandy (Sarah Jessica Parker)...

I wondered about this one. Lon Cheney plays the parts of two Manchurians -- the old Wu and the son Wu. The idea of a white actor playing an Asian character doesn't 100% bother me, but I do wish the character of Nang Ping (Wu's daughter) had been played by an Asian actress (she's played by the white actress (Renée Adorée). Basil Gregory (Ralph Forbes) will fall in love with Nang, and they will kiss and stuff, which means to meet "code" or society restrictions, Nang had to be played by a white actress -- I'm thinking a white actor and an Asian actress probably weren't allowed to kiss on screen in 1927. (So the idea that a white guy and an Asian woman could fall in love is really progressive, if you think about it.) Anyway, the old Wu is somewhat progressive. He wants to raise his son as a good Chinese, but he also understands that for his son to be ready to live in the modern world, it will help for him to know the ways of the West. Mr. Gregory (Holmes Herbe...