The Writer's Poke

Click on the image for a bigger view. Remember: Think of the kittens. Vote Obama.

For Writers: It never used to bother me to go to movies alone. "Why do I need to sit next to somebody to watch a movie?" I wondered. Nobody seems to care if you watch TV at home by yourself. Something about our society cares, however, about people that do things in public alone. Who goes to a concert alone? Who can even go to a restaurant alone, especially any restaurant without a drive- thru window, without feeling self-conscious? When I was 20, I thought nothing about going on vacation alone. I was by myself the first time I visited Bourbon Street, for example. I would drive long distances by myself, but I enjoyed the freedom. I stopped when and where I wanted, and no one complained about how loud my music was, or if I wanted to play Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything for Love" 100 times in a row -- which I've been known to do. Sometimes I might wonder: what's wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me, or is there something wrong with a society th...

I don't hate McCain because he's rich. Seriously. What bothers me is how out-of-touch he appears to be. This isn't about "class warfare"; this is about not having a clue. http://thinkprogress.org/2008/08/18/mccain-definition-rich-graph/

At last weekend's Faith Forum, Rick Warren asked John McCain if evil existed, and if so, what should be done about it. McCain's face assumed a stern demeanor, and he said that it does exist and that we must "defeat it." Of course all he was thinking about it is the evil of terrorism. Terrorism killed 3000 people on American soil. For that, we've spent literally billions of dollars, killed countless more Iraqis (countless because we don't bother to count them, or even find them worth counting), and watched thousands more Americans die in combat. Warren also mentioned that there are 148 million orphans around the world. Orphans don't necessarily exist because of "evil," but in any event, McCain clearly didn't display the same sort of passion for this global problem as he did for terrorism. Impressively, he mentioned how Cindy flew to meet Mother Teresa and ended up adopting one of Teresa's kids. But in all honesty, that's one child save...

I know. It's difficult to keep track of how many homes you have. If you're an average American, like John McCain, what's in a number, anyway? Today's lead news story is that McCain didn't even know that he and his wife own seven homes. http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/8/21/17580/8801/443/572138 Out of touch with real Americans. Hell, why do we even elect a president? I say we go back to monarchy. It's not like the people we elect have any idea how real people live... http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2065421/posts?page=48

We live in a country that values the individual. Republicans generally take this idea to the extreme, suggesting that it's up to the individual to make his- or her way in the world. Who really ever makes it in the world alone without the support of others? If you can say that you have, why don't you pat yourself on the back. I won't call you a liar... At the same time, both Obama and McCain suggest that individuals need to work for causes greater than themselves. That's the only way to better a nation, and on an individual level, that's the only way to true, lasting happiness. Republicans, however, have a problem with people working together if the government is used. Why? The government is just a structure. It's just you and me, really. We often hear that the government wants to spend your money. What kind of b.s. is that? We have elections to decide the agenda for the country. Once the agenda has been set, why are we surprised when a price tag is attached? Wh...

For Writers: Jeff and I were friends for our year together in graduate school. I always thought he had a need to be loved, and as we were both aspiring writers, it made sense that we would be friends. I have a tendency to be sarcastic and mean-spirited, so I always liked to rub salt into his overly-sensitive wounds. For the most part, though, I think we were pretty good friends for that year. When he moved back to his home state a few hundred miles away, I found a way to attend his wedding even though I was without a driver's licence, muddling through one of the lowest points of my life. It would be another decade before I saw him again. In that time, he had started teaching, published a few books, and had his own life. Similarly, over that decade, I got married, started teaching, and had my own life; yet, we were friends once, so why not still? My closest friends go back to high school, and while we don't interact with each other much, there's always the sense that we'...

It's no secret that I support Obama, but I'm fair minded, and even at this point, I'm willing to listen to what McCain has to say. With that in mind, I was very interested in listening to Obama and McCain's responses at Rick Warren's Faith Forum last weekend. Pastor Warren asked each of them for their definition of rich. For Obama, rich meant something above $150,000 to $250,000. He didn't stumble on giving his view, and that amount seems to be reasonably accepted as a common definition. McCain, however, clearly didn't want to answer the question. It reminded me of George H.W. Bush going grocery shopping during the 1992 campaign, when he clearly did not know how much a gallon of milk cost. Well, after a while, McCain said that rich was $5 million. Then he tried to make his response into a joke. "I want everyone to be rich," he said. One way would be rich is to marry rich, eh John? I have nothing against rich people, and I wouldn't mind being ri...

Okay, I know blogs are a lot more fun with pictures and funny videos, but I hope you'll stick with me through a few postings that are nothing but words... How many friends do you have? How often do you chat with those friends, do things with those friends? How many friends do you have from way back that are separated from you by long distances? How many friends have you lost touch with? How many friendships have you had that have grown apart? Are you a good friend? I was going to actually write something on this topic, but the closest I could come to doing so was writing a series of questions. I'll try again later.

Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 According to leading scientists, we've got to do something before Miley Cyrus goes the way of Britney and Lindsey and the Olsen Twins.

These all seem like things my old high school math teacher, Jerry Parker, might say: A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired. A will is a dead giveaway. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. A calendar’s days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine. A...

"Baby Got Book" is possibly the best Christian parody song I've ever heard; it is, of course, a parody of Sir Mix-a-Lot's 1992 classic "Baby Got Back."

Hi all, I posted the "Bible in a Minute" rap a couple of days ago, but Youtube has already removed it; the good news is, it's still up at http://www.stupidvideos.com.

Have you ever jumped on a hotel bed like this guy? I'm sure you have. I did that once in high school when my dad and I were at a chess tournament in Kansas City. I bounced into the headboard so hard that I knocked off the over-the-bed picture in the adjoining room. Boy, did that freak out those people... Dad and I heard some loud voices, and within a few seconds, we heard a knock on our door. For some reason, dad decided to answer the door. Was I scared? You could say that, but luckily the guy just wanted to see what the hell was going on...

Have you ever wondered if those Internet language translator web sites actually work? Someone decided to translate a short script from English to French to German, and then back to English. The dialogue that resulted is quite delightful. Click on the link below to watch the short 5 minute train wreck . http://www.noob.us/humor/lost-in-translation-seriously/

Do you guys like waterparks? I don't know if there is one in America, but in Germany, they actually have one that does a loop. Don't believe me? Check out the short video at this link: http://www.maniacworld.com/most-extreme-waterslide-ever.html Pretty darn cool...

Hello Bret fans. Today I passed my oral exams and defended my dissertation. One usually doesn't do both at the same time, but I received special permission. By the way, I don't recommend it. There's a reason to do oral exams one day and the dissertation defense a few months later... The good news is, I'm done, and will officially graduate in December. And if anyone wants to plan a big party, let's shoot for May 09 in Oxford, Mississippi. That's when I'll get to walk through the graduation ceremony. Oh, and that's a picture of Mark Twain. He received a few honorary degrees, and he loved to walk around in his graduation get-up. Maybe I should continue the tradition??

Why are there babies crawling on this television tower in the Czech Republic? That's a really good question.

1. Today on the Rush Limaugh show, Rush cried that "it's now coming out" that Barack Obama has changed some of his positions from the views he ran on in 2004 for Senate. Oh, really? How dare someone change their views! Better to think the same thing from birth to death. Who cares about learning? 2. Another Limbaugh lament: Barack doesn't know anything. All he does is parrot what he's been taught. This, my friends, from a man whose fans are called "ditto-heads." Give me a break. 3. If you don't like Obama's politics, that's fine. But what the hell? Limbaugh is pretty pathetic. Think about this: Limbaugh does a three hour monologue every day. Do you think he would ever be capable of holding a real conversation? There's a reason the format of the show is monologue-based.

All your beliefs will be shattered once you watch this video. Sweet dreams. :)