The Writer's Poke

Have you ever wondered how we get stuck with the candidates that we're asked to vote for? Actually, this year's crop (with maybe one major exception) turned out to be pretty good.

Voldemort for President. Finally, a candidate that says exactly what he means! (But how do we know that McCain isn't really Voldemort??) Happy Halloween http://davegraff.com/2008/10/29/voldemort-for-president-the-only-candidate-without-a-hidden-agenda/

I wonder if this is how students saw me when I walked around campus? Unfortunately, my wife reminds me that she once overheard two of my students (circa 1999) that were sitting in the hallway after class talking about me. Apparently they thought I wore my khakis tight -- I admit it, I did -- and that could only mean that I had to be gay. Sorry fellas. I might read poetry, but gay I have never been :)

Okay, so I guess I like Rick Roll. So what? Anyway, can you really watch this "literal lyrics" version just once? Thought not!

Here's a funny, funny interactive Palin link. Just imagine what it would be like to have her as our President. Warning: Don't click on the Red Phone!!! http://www.palinaspresident.us/

Can you believe that some people are already talking about a Palin 2012 presidential run? Can you imagine that? I can. It would be glorious. :)

Here's a pretty interesting data clock that I think you'll find worth a look: http://www.shambles.net/worldclock/worldclock.swf In 2008, over 48 million people have died so far. Wanna know how? Click the link. Over 111 million people have been born (vs. 38 million abortions). *** Prefer your information by the day? At the moment: 252,000 people have been born today 108,000 people have died today 86,000 abortions 1,700 divorces (U.S. only) 200 more people have entered the prison system 51 species have ceased to exist

Doug Brown's Just Do It should be better than Charla Muller's 365 Nights. After all, Brown writes for a living, and the book does a lot of the things I was hoping Muller's would do. For example, Brown actually does describe the sexual encounters with his wife. But the descriptions grow pretty monotonous. Brown does include specifics on things they "try" to enhance the experience: toys, lubes, locations, positions. Brown also includes a lot more dialogue, and on the surface, that should be a good thing. It should be good to hear what his wife is thinking along the journey... unfortunately, it's impossible to know who is "speaking." Doug and his wife sound exactly the same in the dialogue portions, and Doug doesn't really go into his own "deep thoughts" (probably because he knows his wife will be reading the book??). *** After a while, I just wondered why I should care, and perhaps that's the main problem I had with both Just Do It a...

Two memoirs were released this summer with sex as the unifying theme. One was the straight-to-paperback 365 Nights by Charla Muller. In her epilogue, she asks that English majors go easy on her, so I'll try to be kind. Muller's book promises to be a book about sex, but while she shows us the gun above the fireplace, she never takes it down off the mantle. The sex itself, which one would rationally assume would be the centerpiece of the book, occurs off stage. All we get are cliches like "doing the deed" and "the Gift." This could have been a perfectly nice book about married life and intimacy, but the book is mis-titled and therefore misleading. As a reader, I'm not looking for any pornographic details, but I am looking for some specifics here. Muller never once mentions what happens in the bedroom, whether she orgasms, or anything like that. She does mention that her husband was once, around the 80th night, too tired to complete, but that's as graph...

For Writers: When you start to go bald, my wife tells me, just shave off your hair. Don't do a comb-over. I have no intention of doing a comb-over, but that's a choice a lot of men make. Don't they know better? They must, but something about vanity blinds them to the fact that they are doing something that most swore they'd never do. Does hair still equal masculinity in our culture? Chest hair is no longer sexy, unless you're David Hasselhoff or Paul Stanley. Leg hair doesn't seem to be important either, although I remember when I was growing up that kids would point out that I didn't have a lot of it, as if not having a sufficient amount of leg hair made me less of a man. I've kept a goatee for years, but that's simply out of convenience. Shaving every day is a drag, as I found out when I experimented with the bald look -- both face and head -- in my early 20s. But assuming I do start going bald like my dad and his dad before him, I have no problem ...

For Writers: Eva Kor decided that she couldn't live with hate any longer; she forgave the human beings that experimented on her and her twin sister; she forgave people involved in a great evil. She forgave people, not the evil. Somehow, she recognized that forgiving the former was possible without also forgiving the latter. People hated her for her willingness to forgive, claiming that she had no right to forgive. But Eva's point was this: forgiveness is the only way to move on. It is the only real path forward. And it's an individual choice. She didn't need anyone to ask for her forgiveness. Forgiveness is something freely offered. Forgiveness is power. Forgiveness is liberation. To forgive is not to forget. How could the Holocaust ever be forgotten? But what purpose is gained by holding on to hate? In what ways have you allowed hate to control you? "You cannot hate other people without hating yourself." -- Oprah Winfrey

"What Was Palin Thinking?" Sure to be a great DVD board game. Look for it at a Walmart near you during the X-mas Season.

Now that their political stock has dropped more than the Dow Jones, McCain and Palin have decided it's time to plan for life after politics. Interestingly, both have landed roles in the popular Batman movie franchise. McCain will assume the role of Harvey Two-Face, and Palin will be the first female to play the Joker. Courtesy of: http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2008/10/12/18544195.php

This photo, taken at the conclusion of the third McCain/Obama debate, screams for a caption contest. Pundits have noted that McCain was a lot more animated in the last debate, but perhaps that's not always a good thing. Anyway, if you were to put a caption to this photo, what would it say? Here's my lame attempt --> McCain: the Original White Zombie Or how about --> Here McCain attempts to solitify his conservative zombie base. Now I just know you can come up with something better than that!

The people have called, and I have listened to their call. The country is hungry, and I will feed their bellies. Yes, I am happy to announce that I am running for president of the United States of America. Please click the following link to see a news story about my surprise entry into this year's political campaign. There are only three weeks left, but together, we can change the world! http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=370617&altf=Csfu&altl=Gvmmfs

November is National Novel Writing Month, affectionately known as NaNoWriMo . Now in its tenth year, NaNoWriMo's goal is to get writers to, well, write. No more procrastination, and no more excuses. The rules of the "contest" are simple: Just write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. Last year, over 100,000 would-be writers signed up, and over 15,000 crossed the 50,000 word finish line. What do you win? Well, you win the fact that you've written a novel, and once the organization confirms your word count, it sends you a nice certificate, suitable for framing no doubt. According to the organization's website, a number of NaNoWriMo novels have found publishers, and at least one was a #1 New York Times best seller. November sounds like a great time to write a novel, and I plan to enter the contest. Check out the link, and if you're interested in entering, too, email me. ( bret.fuller@roch.edu ) Together, maybe we can encourage each other to write ...

Christopher Buckley, son of National Review founder William F. Buckley, has decided to jump the sinking McCain ship to support Obama! Buckley who still writes for National Review himself notes that he decided to post his endorsement to thedailybeast blog rather than in the conservative magazine because he didn't have the stomach for the amount of hate mail he knew it would generate. (That's probably the longest sentence I've ever written without any controlling punctuation marks.) It's time for more Republicans to attempt that McCain's ship is sinking. More importantly, it's time for more Republicans to come out for Obama. Click on the link below to read the Buckley piece. http://thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-10/the-conservative-case-for-obama/

For the past few days, McCain and Palin have been calling Obama a plethora of things as I've noted in a previous post. Not surprisingly, impressionable Republican minds have been soaking up these warnings like sponges. Friday night McCain seemed to understand that his campaign was taking things too far. He actually took the unusual step of defending Obama's character! Yes, McCain told his crowd that Obama was an honorable man, and a good American. He told them that they had nothing to fear from Obama as president of the United States. Incredible. Question: Will McCain now tone down the rhetoric in his stump speeches and in his commercials? Will he put a leash on pitbull Palin? Or, will he continue taking the low road, while attempting to take the high road simultaneously? Pundits on MSNBC tonight suggested that perhaps McCain knows that he's fighting a losing battle, and perhaps the so-called "old McCain" is coming out. Perhaps the McCain that really does believe ...

McCain is angry. A University of Wisconsin study found that 100% of McCain's TV ads are negative. In comparison, only 34% of Obama's ads are "negative." And in his desperation, it looks like McCain has nowhere to go but deeper into the gutter. He will continue to attack Obama and try to make his "character" an issue. Great move, McCain. Don't attack Obama on the issues. Just try to attack him personally. Yeah, I'm sure that will work for you. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/09/uselections2008.johnmccain4 Interestingly, Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman announced today that he will pull all negative ads in his race against challenger Al Franken. He's also going to skip a McCain rally today... "to 'dedicate his time to implementing his suspension' of negative ads. " http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/10/10/coleman_ads/?refid=0 Hmmm... interesting... This indicates to me that Coleman is no dummy. McCain is a s...