The Writer's Poke

Just a beautiful song. Enjoy.

Kodiak, Alaska (after 1964 earthquake) Some places you hear about, and even though you have never been there, you imagine what they're like. Right now, Kodiak, Alaska is such a place for me. I can picture it in my mind's eye, and part of me never wants to actually visit, lest I be highly disappointed with reality. My only trip to Alaska was in 2005, and I long to go back. On that trip, all I saw of Alaska was the part allowed to cruise tourists on the inner passage. I absolutely loved the hell out of it, but Kodiak seems even more remote. And yet, it also seems more accessible, as it's on Alaska's maritime highway. So, if you've stumbled upon my blog, have you been to Kodiak? Or, what place have you not been to that you imagine being heaven on earth?

My favorite U2 song, as "covered" by President W.

First, I know that rich people are people too. And yes, rich people have rights. But of the 535 members of congress, how many do you think have a net worth of a million dollars or more? I'll bet you a donut the number is far greater than the national average. Which leads to the question: can rich people effectively govern in the best interests of members of the non-rich classes? No one likes to talk about class these days, I realize that. God forbid someone be labelled as trying to ignite class warfare, just for pointing out the obvious. *** According to politico.com, the answer is 237. So, 237 out of the 535 members of congress are millionaires; but only seven have a net worth of $100 million or more. That's some comfort, I guess... http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1109/29235.html

I thought I would try to "monetize" my blog, but to make it worth my while, I cannot simply recommend nickel and dime items. Therefore, for your careful consideration, I present the Breguet Classique Tourbillion Messidor Men's Rose Gold Watch. This may be the most expensive item available for purchase through amazon.com; and, if someone were to actually buy one through my referred link, I would supposedly earn 4% of the purchase price as an "amazon associate." That's about $3,870 for each watch sold through my referred link. So to Oprah, Bill Gates, the former CEO of BP, and all of my friends: please consider buying this lovely time piece. I'm sure that you'll find it worth every penny. And, you can joke to your friends that time, in this case, really is money. (Please note that every watch comes with a full two-year warranty, and shipping is only $9.95 -- very reasonable, considering the cost of the product being sent.)

I was with him in the beginning. Twenty years ago, I loved listening to Rush. He's a gifted gabber, and he has a talent for talk that he has been able to turn into millions of dollars. How many people can talk for a living? Rush has been able to do just that for over 20 years. His format was rather innovative when he started: no guests, no one else in the studio to banter with -- yes, he does have "Mr. Snerdley" (who is actually the call screener), but we never actually hear him speak. Like almost all radio talk shows, Rush's show does allow listeners to call in, but make no mistake about it: the main focus was and always will be on the man sitting behind the golden microphone. What always struck me, though, even from the beginning was how Rush could develop arguments against the opposition without considering how those words might apply to himself. That is, he has the knack for pointing his finger without recognizing that three fingers are pointing back at him. C...

I'm starting to add some t-shirts to my zazzle store. Most will be text-based, inspired from the Writer's Poke archieves. Check it out: make custom gifts at Zazzle

Unfortunately, this album is out of print; fortunately, someone has uploaded all of it to Youtube. "The Autumn" is one of those songs that make you want to reflect. And drink, I suppose. Drink and drink and drink. But don't do that. Just reflect. That would be a good first step. Summer is short, and autumn will soon be here. Be happy. :)

A-Sides B-Sides & Suicides "The Cure" is the new song on Charon's Greatest Hits (and Beginnings) album. The "suicides" part of the album showcases the band's Death Metal beginnings. That's not my scene, but fans of Death Metal might dig it. Otherwise, the first disc is basically a greatest hits walk down memory lane. The second disc includes the bands early stuff, including some demo songs that sound like they could be off the band's first studio album. Wanna buy this album in the U.S.? Good luck on that. When I checked last, A-Sides B-Sides & Suicides  was not even available on iTunes, unless you know the trick. The trick is: Set your account to iTunes Finland. If you scroll down on your account, you'll notice the U.S. flag; click on it, and you can change your status to any country that iTunes serves. That way, you can buy the album -- or if you're like me, just "The Cure." I like the new song. To me, it's "...

Who was Thomas Jefferson? No simple answer for that question, but he continues to be appropriated and recreated for the purposes of the living. In his dirtnap state, he cannot defend himself. He cannot say, "That is not it at all. That is not what I meant at all" if someone attributes their own pet idea or philosophy to him. Was he a man of Faith, as people like Glenn Beck claim? Faith in what sense? Should he be seen as a symbol for freedom? As a symbol of any kind? And why do the living arrange the biographical details of the dead to fit their individual ideals? Do we even care what Jefferson stood for? Do we care what kind of man he was? Or, rather, do we simply wish to use the dead to fit our model of how others should live? What is the truth that the dead know? "They refuse / to be blessed throat, eye, and knucklebone." -- Anne Sexton

I had the rather hair-brained scheme that I would read all of the books in the library; well, not all of them, but all of the books in the History section -- a few thousand books at most. With a little quick (and optimistic) math, I figured I could read a book a day; and after four years of college, that would equal a lot of books. Okay. Maybe not the entire History section, then, but why not dive into the books in the shelf in front of me? Surely I could read all of those. The Stacks. What a wonderful place. Musty. Dusty. An elegant tomb full of books and artificial lighting. I could stay deep in its depths. It's where books come to die, but it's where I would go to live. I was going to record the Word on each individual brain cell. Admittedly, I'm not normal, but I've always known that. Understand: college, after all, isn't a time for learning. It's a time for drinking mass quantities of booze, and chalking up carnal conquests. At least that's what t...

It's a subtle change, yes, but once you drink fruit-infused water for a few weeks, you will notice what "regular" water tastes like in comparison. Week 1, I tried kiwi and strawberry. Week 2: oranges Week 3: watermelon I've also heard good things about cucumber. The thought of that doesn't turn me on, but I'll give it a shot shortly. Benefits? It's calorie free. And the fruit lasts all week. My recommendation is to change the fruit every 5-to-7 days, though. I left the watermelon in for 9 days, only to discover some mold on the inside top. Basically, you can tell when it's time to change the fruit by its discoloration. But I'd say every 5 days to be on the safe side... Good little product for those interested in a "healthy alternativ e. "

Roger Ebert is my guide, and I think he qualifies as a great one. For the past twelve months, I have been watching the films he writes about in The Great Movies and The Great Movies II. Each volume contains 100 great films, and Ebert's essays are generally four pages in length plus a photo from the film. At first, I found myself a bit daunted. After all, mentally preparing to watch 200 films is a pretty big commitment. And since I had already seen quite a few of the films in both volumes, I hesitated even further, as I've never been one to watch a film again... not with all the films out there that I've yet to see even once. But although I might have previously watched a film, I soon discovered that this doesn't mean I remember the film. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I'll be watching a film again with absolutely no knowledge of the plot or characters. Example: I've always liked The Shawshank Redemption , but when I sat down to watch it last month, I was sur...

Larry David is at it again. This time, he's invaded my dreams with another one of his hilarious faux pas. It seems that he needed to buy a birthday gift for someone he didn't much like and hardly knew. But his wife insisted that he buy something nice. And that something turned out to be a licensed NFL jersey. Knowing that such a jersey would cost $100 or more, Larry decides to explore a cheaper option: knockoff jerseys sold by street peddlers. So he finds a good deal on a jersey, but it comes with a catch. The peddler asks him to deliver a jersey to an address in Harlem. Without thinking, Larry immediately reacts. "No!" he says. Seeing the peddler's shocked expression, Larry quickly understands that his reaction is inappropriate , and makes him appear racist. Larry dislikes others thinking badly of him; smiling, he attempts this explanation: "I don't want the glory." Have you ever used humility as a defense or as an excuse? "If you tell the tr...

Pure genius.

Funny...

It's all about context. Yeah.

Absolutely brilliant!

I teach college writing classes, but sometimes most of the students sitting in my classes are dually-enrolled high school Juniors and Seniors. And I know: I know that I'm old because most of the students I teach weren't even born when I graduated from high school. And I know that I'm old because five years to me and five years to my students means something completely different. Example: I ask my students if they listen to 50 Cent. "Yes," one volunteers, "like in 6 th grade!" Doing some quick math, I realize that for her, 6 th grade is five years ago. For her, five years is the difference between grade school and sitting in the college classroom. For me, five years is the difference between being married 5 years and being married 10 years. In the past 5 years, I've seen significant changes in my life, to be sure. I completed my Ph.D., moved from Georgia to Minnesota, became a Dean, and decided to go back to teaching. My wife and I have travel...

When I drive through the Hyvee parking lot, I often look at the special parking spots designated for the handicapped. Most users of these spots must have invisible handicaps, though, because as I walk up and down the aisles at the grocery store, I hardly ever see anyone in a wheel chair. So who are using these spots? Certainly not paraplegics. But then it dawned on me. Maybe these spots aren't for people paralyzed from the neck down. Maybe they're set aside for people paralyzed from the neck up. Until these people speak, you'd never assume them to be anything other than normal. It's only after holding a conversation with them that you understand that they suffer from the worst handicap imaginable. Millions of people suffer from brain freeze, and I'm not talking about the kind that comes from eating ice cream too quickly. Brain freeze often goes undiagnosed, and often times those that suffer from the condition don't even know they have it, because they tend to c...