Skip to main content

Turning into Your Parents -- Invitation to Write #69

For Writers:

I'm in my 30s, and I still find myself wondering, "Why did my parents do that?"

In Rebecca Walker's second autobiography, Baby Love, she spends a lot of time asking the same question. Structured in the form of a journal, the autobiography chronicles her thoughts during the pregnancy of her first child. She thinks she will do things differently than her mother, but as I was reading along, I kept thinking, "Damn, girl. You're going to be no better than your mama!" Yes, her techniques might be "different," and she might go out of her way to avoid the things that her mother did that drove her, as a daughter, crazy. Truth be told, though, she's still going to mess up her kid in some not-so-dissimilar ways.

Why fight it? When you have a child, you join the parent club, and all parents will embarrass, eff-up, and fall short. By all means, don't make the same mistakes your parents made (if you can avoid them), but assuming you had typical, run-of-the-mill parents, don't expect to do any better job than they did. Because quite frankly, I bet you'll be pretty run-of-the-mill as a parent yourself.

Sadly in Rebecca Walker's case, she asked her mom for an apology for how she was raised one too many times, and her famous mother, Alice Walker, apparently decided to "quit" her job as a mother. And Rebecca, through her inaction, accepted the resignation, as if no interaction with her baby's grandmother is a sign of "maturity."

As a parent, you may be able to avoid the "mistakes" your parents made; how do you plan to avoid making your own mistakes?

"When I grow up I want to be a little boy." -- Joseph Heller

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Jesus and the Inconvenience of His Word to American Christians

I'm not a preacher, but if you follow the teachings of Jesus, it was he who said: Do to others as you would have them do to you. That's from Luke 6:31 , and reading all of Luke 6 isn't a bad way to spend five minutes of your time.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%206&version=NIV I guess a lot of Christians understand the Golden Rule and practice it in their daily lives. Others, however, especially political Christians (and specifically those promoting Christian Nationalism) seem to ignore the Golden Rule. They don't care about humanitarian issues. They claim they either don't exist, aren't the problem of the United States, or are the fault of the victims. They counter with distractions like, "Why do you care so much about THEM when you should be caring about the REAL people who matter?" Sorry, but I don't recall Jesus ever dividing people into those who matter more and those who matter less. Of course, Jesus also said not to j...

Microblogging? The Future of Writing with ADHD

Bill Bennett is a very common name. Right now, I'm reading a book by the Australian film maker Bill Bennett. He hiked the Camino in 2013 and then wrote a book (and made an Australian movie, not available in the U.S.) about it.  Seems he kept a blog about that hike, too. I went to look for his Camino blog, and found he started one years after the hike, but he didn't post regularly... His last post from 2022 announced his had Parkinson's and had kept the diagnosis secret for 4 years.  Now that almost three years have passed from that post, I wonder what's happened to him.  Blogs are weird. They just sit there. Anyone can stumble upon them, and read them. So I decided to keep looking for his Camino blog.  https://billbennett.blog/home/ *** And I found another Bill Bennett, this one from New Zealand, who keeps a microblog. It's current and updated. "What's a microblog?" My wife asked. Well, I said, it's a small blog. Just a sentence or two for a post. ...