Skip to main content

Control -- Writer's Poke #147

For Writers:

Our junior high basketball team was going to State, and three busloads of excited kids went to cheer them on to victory. 

During the game, they must have been offering an all-you-can-drink special, because I remember drinking coke after coke. The teachers reminded us to hit the bathroom before we got back on the bus, because the bus would not be stopping for any reason on the four-hour trip home. 

Yes, I used the bathroom before getting on the bus. And no, that didn't save me. About an hour into the trip, I recognized that my bladder was quite full. I felt the bus hit every bump, and the girl sitting next to me noticed that I had suddenly got very quiet, and about five shades whiter than normal. She quickly evacuated to another seat.

Just tell them you need to stop, some of my friends advised, but I knew they weren't going to stop for me. One of my friends even yelled out that if the bus didn't stop, there'd be a mess to clean up later, but the teacher just scoffed and said, "We warned you to use the bathroom before you got on the bus."

Somehow I made it the entire way without pissing myself. I was sitting in the back, but as soon as the bus pulled into the school parking lot, all of the kids waited for me to get off first. Squeezing my legs tightly as I walked, I got in mom's car and asked her to drive to the nearest restroom. A minute later, I was standing in front of the urinal at Dairy Queen, and although I didn't time it, I'm sure I stood there peeing for a solid two minutes.

Have you ever peed your pants, or witnessed someone that has? Describe the circumstances. 

"Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone else can see it, but only you can feel the warmth." -- Amanda Goodinson




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Jesus and the Inconvenience of His Word to American Christians

I'm not a preacher, but if you follow the teachings of Jesus, it was he who said: Do to others as you would have them do to you. That's from Luke 6:31 , and reading all of Luke 6 isn't a bad way to spend five minutes of your time.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke%206&version=NIV I guess a lot of Christians understand the Golden Rule and practice it in their daily lives. Others, however, especially political Christians (and specifically those promoting Christian Nationalism) seem to ignore the Golden Rule. They don't care about humanitarian issues. They claim they either don't exist, aren't the problem of the United States, or are the fault of the victims. They counter with distractions like, "Why do you care so much about THEM when you should be caring about the REAL people who matter?" Sorry, but I don't recall Jesus ever dividing people into those who matter more and those who matter less. Of course, Jesus also said not to j...

Microblogging? The Future of Writing with ADHD

Bill Bennett is a very common name. Right now, I'm reading a book by the Australian film maker Bill Bennett. He hiked the Camino in 2013 and then wrote a book (and made an Australian movie, not available in the U.S.) about it.  Seems he kept a blog about that hike, too. I went to look for his Camino blog, and found he started one years after the hike, but he didn't post regularly... His last post from 2022 announced his had Parkinson's and had kept the diagnosis secret for 4 years.  Now that almost three years have passed from that post, I wonder what's happened to him.  Blogs are weird. They just sit there. Anyone can stumble upon them, and read them. So I decided to keep looking for his Camino blog.  https://billbennett.blog/home/ *** And I found another Bill Bennett, this one from New Zealand, who keeps a microblog. It's current and updated. "What's a microblog?" My wife asked. Well, I said, it's a small blog. Just a sentence or two for a post. ...