The Writer's Poke

Mariah Carey turns 38 today; today is also the 10th anniversary of the FDA's approval of Viagra in the United States. Question: What do Mariah Carey and Viagra have in common? Answer: Both give you stiffies. (credit for joke goes to Linda)

Isn't "our business"? What isn't our business? Don't we have a right to know how Hillary handled the whole Bill-Monica episode? The question about Hillary's "credibility" deals with her claim that there was a "vast right-wing conspiracy" against the Clintons. The truth, of course, was just that Bill was always a bit of a lad -- which has nothing to do with big, bad Republicans trying to get them! Fun stuff. At least one person got to ask a question that wasn't "handpicked" at a Clinton event.

Thursday marks the 10 th anniversary of the FDA’s approval of Viagra. Celebrate with someone you love. For Writers: Ever want to write, but you just can't get your pen to work? No matter how hard you try, the page remains blank (and unsatisfied), and you’re left wondering: maybe I’m not a real writer at all. No need to feel embarrassed; after all, it happens to everyone. Writer’s Block. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to take a pill for this condition? And, of course, the pill should provide you with an open range of time. Maybe you just take the pill, start writing something very cool and important, and get interrupted. No worries: the pill will give you up to 72 hours to express your creativity. You write when the time is right for you. Unfortunately, there isn’t a little blue pill to take for writer’s block. It’s just you against the blank page, and there is no cure. All you have is your indomitable desire to write. What keeps you from writing, and would a “Viagra for writers” ...

For Writers: I like to think that I have a pretty good imagination; however, one concept I do have trouble imagining is eternal life. After all, how many millions of years would it take to cross off all the items on your “to do” list? It’s human nature to put things off until tomorrow – and that’s even with the knowledge that we’re all going to die sooner than later. Now, imagine if you knew that you were going to live on and on and on? It seems to me that the tendency to procrastinate would grow exponentially. And quite frankly, I don’t think I’m the only one that has trouble with the whole “eternal life” concept. Most people don’t seem to get past the playing harps on clouds imagery; and for those that believe in reincarnation, well that’s just cheating. But maybe that’s the only real way to live eternally – living each finite lifespan in a repeated state of amnesia, as if each life cycle is the one and only. Okay, let’s narrow it down from eternity to something more manageable. If y...

For Writers: From time-to-time it will hit me: I’m growing older by the day. Not only do I pay a mortgage every month, but I also have a child that I’m responsible for. How did this all happen? When I look in the mirror, I can see the physical changes. My face is fatter, my hair has some gray, and the lenses in my glasses keep getting thicker with each visit to Lens Crafters. I’ve always needed a lot of sleep, but now if I go without sleep for whatever reason, it takes me longer to recover. I have to face facts: I’m not a young whipper-snapper anymore! On the other hand, being an adult isn’t all that bad. For the most part, I’m in control. And, I don’t have to worry about “getting some place” in life; I’ve arrived. How old do others perceive me to be? I’m never sure, but I can say this: it’s been quite a while since anyone’s bothered to card me. What’s more important: chronological age or the age you feel inside? How do you typically feel: older or younger than your ch...

Oh my goodness! In 1996, Hillary made a trip to Bosnia with her lovely daughter, and they had to dodge heavy snipper fire to make it to their limo! If you have the stomach, click this link to watch the amazing video! What a brave woman Hillary is. When she was actually caught lying about this experience, she simply said "I say a lot of things [that aren't true].... a million words a day." In other words, she claims just to have "misspoke." A recent AOL poll shows that 77% think Hillary exaggerates "a lot." In the same poll 48% find Barack to be the more honest candidate -- compared to 11% for Hillary.

Bill Richardson endorsed Barack Obama on Friday, and Hillary's people said it was "insignificant." Now, James Carville says Richardson's endorsement is Judas-like. Question: Does that make Hillary the Christ? I can't imagine any of Barack's people making similar Carville-like comments about any friend of Barack that happened to endorse Hillary. And yes, I do think this woman believes herself to be the Savior of our country. Barack has never made such claims. He's always shown humility and honesty. Some people question his virtue, claiming he's just a calculating politician. I'm not exactly sure why some people have started to believe this, other than because Barack wears the label of politician, and so he's guilty by association... http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/Carville_Richardson_Judas/2008/03/23/82472.html

What do The 69 Eyes and Kylie Minogue have in common? They both recently released their 10th albums, and these albums were not released in the United States. What's up with that? A good site to find videos never seen and music never released in the United States is EMI Jukebox Finland. So, if you're either a 69 Eyes or Kylie fan, check it out: http://www.emi.fi/jukebox/artisti/68/kylie http://www.emi.fi/jukebox/artisti/51/the69eyes

For Writers: Superheroes need dance partners, and those dance partners are the supervillains. Without Lex Luthor, Superman never leaves Smallville; without the likes of the Joker and his ilk, Batman just lives life as the ordinary Bruce Wayne. Villains have all of the special powers and all of the intelligence that heroes possess, and they always seem as though they could destroy the hero and take over the world. This perceived balance of power between the forces of good and evil makes the comic book reader or animated series viewer believe that everything is at stake. Traditionally, good always wins in the end, but the success of the hero depends on the real possibility of failure. This world view is very much in line with a religion like Zoroastrism , where the gods of good and evil are equals – as opposed to Christianity, where it’s established as a foregone conclusion that God will eventually destroy Satan once and for all. Assume the role of the villain. What event, if any, brough...

Wrestlemania 24 is just a week away (and yes, this is the 24 th year they've done one). I thought I'd post my thoughts on the matches; while the card isn't great, it's one of the better Wrestlemania cards that they've put on in a long while. 1. 24 Man Battle Royal (winner facing ECW Champion Chavo Guerreo later in the show) -- Odds on favorite has to be Kane. Could someone less well-known win? Maybe, but I think Kane is likely to win and then go on to beat Chavo Guerreo for ECW title. Prediction: Kane 2. Chavo Guerreo vs. Kane -- Normally, this kind of match would happen later in the show, but don't be surprised to see Chavo come out immediately after the Battle Royal is over (or, actually, he'll probably watch the match from ringside, jumping in as soon as Kane has eliminated Mark Henry and Big Daddy V from the ring). The producers will want to get both the Battle Royal and this match done in 15 minutes. ECW has no value to them... Prediction: ...

For Writers: My wife and I have spent the last three months watching a lot of animated superhero programs (notice I didn't say cartoons, because let's face it: cartoons are for kids!). Batman: the Animated Series is quite good. But, in every episode, someone must fall from a great height. That's a rule that the TV executives made: "Writers, please make sure that someone falls from a great height in each episode , please." The good thing is, you can make a great drinking game out of it, if you're so inclined. Superman: the Animated Series. Well, I didn't like this one as much. Batman is darker, and the villains are more like family to me. Superman just isn't my type; after all, he's not from here, and I like my heroes human and without superpowers. I actually didn't realize this about myself until I started watching these animated programs. I seriously don't like god-like superheros. There's simply no thrill in watching a god defe...

Ah, the nature of a political campaign!

Funny stuff! http://www.challengeofthesuperduperfriends.com/teaser.asp

People talking about winning the Iraq war, but I'm not sure what they mean. One of the most infamous events of the Bush presidency happened a few years ago when he flew onto a Navy battleship and declared victory in Iraq. Gee, if that's your idea of victory... Anyway, 4000 Americans have now died, and nobody seems to care. A recent poll indicated that only 30% of Americans even know what the body count is. And I'd bet even fewer know that we've spent 500 billion dollars to "win" this war. So what does winning mean? 1. Getting rid of weapons of mass destruction? (none there) 2. Getting rid of Sadam? (he's dead) 3. Installing an American-style democracy? (never gonna happen) 4. Forcing everyone in Iraq to get along? (we will be there 100 years or longer if that's the goal) 5. Make American companies a lot of money? (perhaps this is happening, and will continue to happen for as long as we're there -- is that the real meaning of "winning," m...

Yes, I like professional wrestling, but I don't like the way it's presented on TV. The average TV match lasts less than 5 minutes. If the match goes longer than that, there's always a four minute commercial break, and you can generally predict when the match is about to go to commercial -- someone is always thrown out of the ring. While matches last less than 5 minutes, promos can go on forever -- up to 15 minutes. And they never go to commercial when someone is cutting a promo. That means to the WWE promoters, the talk is more important than the actual wrestling. And, of course it would be, as their main interest in doing the TV show is to promote the next pay-per-view. In essence, WWE Raw and all the other shows like it are infomericals . Interesting side note: in last night's show, Vince McMahon took on Ric Flair in a street fight. The match was at least 10 minutes long, but there were no commercial breaks, which is odd. Was it because Vince was in the match? Pro...

In 2004, I actually wrote in the name of Jesse Ventura for president, and I still think the man makes a lot of sense. When you watch this video, ignore his "new look." Just listen to what he says. He has a new book coming out, and that very well could be the reason that he's teasing the idea that he might run for president this year. Honestly, I can't see a grass-roots movement for Jesse happening any time soon, but he certainly might make things interesting. This won't be the year for a 3rd party candidate, and if Barack wins the nomination, I would have to support him. But I'll tell you what, if Hillary wins the nomination, I'd be glad to vote for Jesse again. :)

MC-SNL-01 [jonnyalisblog.com] Uploaded by Alisvideo Okay, my wife won't be happy that I put this video on my blog, but I wanted to see how many hits it would generate. :) A couple of questions to ask yourself when you watch the video. 1. The show What Not to Wear says that women in their 30's shouldn't wear mini-skirts. Is this advice Mariah should heed? 2. Does Mariah know that the camera is going to being shooting up at her? 3. What color is Mariah's underwear, and why didn't she wear silver sequined undies? 4. What do you think of this song, the title track off her new album, E=mc2? (is that what Einstein really meant: Energy equals Mariah Carey squared?)

Three weeks ago, Tina Fey hosted Saturday Night Live and basically endorsed Hillary during Weekend Update. Tonight, Tracy Morgan appeared on SNL's Weekend Update and kicked some comedy butt for Barack. Tracy's closing line refuted Tina's idea that "bitch is the 'new black.'" To quote Tracy: "Bitch might be the new black, but black is the new pres... bitch." Didn't see it? Check it out here, before NBC and the Clintons have it taken down: http://www.hyerstandard.com/2008/03/video-snl-tracy-morgan-counters-tina.html