The Writer's Poke

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

For Writers: Linda and I watched a documentary on a Marla Olmstead, who is either a four-year old painting genius or the unfortunate victim of her father’s fraudulent representation. Director Amir Bar-Lev admits having his doubts about the art’s authenticity, but in the end, he leaves it up for viewers to decide. Admittedly, he suggests that he doesn’t really want to know the truth. He would rather just “believe” the Marla is the creator of the paintings. Bar-Lev and Marla’s parents also note that the camera alters reality. Marla’s whole personality and approach to art apparently changes with the presence of the camera. This led Linda to observe: “What would a documentary maker capture if they made a documentary about your life?” It’s an interesting question. I’ve never witnessed a nastier political race than the 2008 Minnesota contest for senator. The Republican candidate tried to brand his opponent, claiming: This 30 seconds represents the essence of the man running against me. Thirt...

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

A friend sent me this. Comments? I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight..... 1. If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different." If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, it's a quintessential American story. 2. If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick. 3. Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded. 4. If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer,become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate re...

Sarah Palin actions figures coming to a Walmart near you! Anyway... here's a cool link to the Palin Name Generator: http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html My name (Bret Ramon) becomes McCain Fortress My wife's name (Linda Diane) becomes Luger Otter My daughter's name (Octavia Hermione) becomes Jeep Pike Give it a shot. But if you play in the NFL, don't change your name until Reebok has sold all of your jerseys! http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/It-ll-cost-mucho-dinero-for-Chad-Ochocinco-to-sw?urn=nfl,106605

At least twenty-three people in Indonesia gave up their lives for the equivalent of $4.25. Can anyone in the U.S. really understand how the rest of the world lives? http://www.kansascity.com/451/story/797263.html

For Writers: Making reference to God, a character in a Sherman Alexie short story quips, “He’s got potential.” In this case, “potential” acts as a noun, and it’s an absolutely brilliant way to describe God. On one level, it suggests that God has the ability to continue to grow, to develop. How can that be? Can a perfect, omniscient being – and the creator of “everything,” grow? After all, when you’ve done it all, what more is possible? Another interpretation of “potential” is even more fun, suggesting that God doesn’t yet exist, but could, assuming the conditions were just right. Well, why not? The tiny human brain assumes that everything must have a beginning, and so why should God be any different? Instead of simply assuming that God has always existed, why not accept that God will, perhaps, exist? Some day. If the existence of God were linked to how you used your potential, would it change how you lived your life? Why or why not? “It is the creative potential itself in human beings...

For Writers: Octavia immediately knew that the bed was her playground. No matter how cranky she might have been, once I place her on the bed, she holds her head up high and offers me her toothless grin. She doesn't tire of rolling around, and it's much more challenging for me to keep her safe on the Queen-size guest bed than on the King-size master. She recognizes the bed's edge, but not the danger of rolling over it. Nothing in her 11 month-old brain warns her about the potential danger of gravity. Either that or she knows that I won't let her hit bottom. What do you fear? Who or what protects you from what you fear most? "The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything." -- Frank Sinatra

For Writers: I usually carry a book with me everywhere I go, and when I find myself eating lunch by myself, I'm often chewing over ideas as well as food. Strangers are often curious when they see me reading a book in public. They like to sneak a look at the book cover -- I guess to find out if they already know the secrets that I'm just learning. Today at Taco Bell, for example, I was carrying Robert Sutton's business book Weird Ideas That Work . The woman next in line at the counter took a look at the cover and smiled. "That's how my son was born," she told me. And I had to admit it. The idea of childbirth is weirder than any idea Sutton discusses. Describe a weird idea or concept that you've developed that "works." "Vagina, vagina, vagina. It's such a weird world." -- Kylie Minogue

Wow. Accordion Guy does it again. When I grow up, I want to have a blog just like Accordion Guy. Brilliant post today! Go check it out. http://www.joeydevilla.com/2008/09/12/what-is-the-bush-doctrine-anyway/

A new popularity poll is out with McCain surging ahead of Obama for the first time. http://news.aol.com/elections/article/mccain-moves-ahead-of-obama-poll-says/163776?icid=100214839x1208881405x1200534753 First, don't believe the hype. We all know that "surges" don't mean squat. McCain has about as much chance winning the election as his wife does being caught shopping at Walmart for dresses. It just ain't gonna happen. Second, pay more attention to the individual state races. According the Electoral College race projections, nothing has really changed. Obama still has a comfortable lead where it counts, and unless McCain can turn a bunch of states, such as Minnesota, Michigan, etc., he doesn't have a prayer. Third, people will soon get over the Palin surprise. McCain picked Palin from a position of weakness, and this pick will end up backfiring. Trust me on this. Yes, I'm still concerned that people will think she's cute and will therefore ignore...

This is the reaction that convinced McCain that he needed a hot chick to add some excitment to his campaign.

Which is better: Blogger or Word Press? When I began blogging a couple of years ago, I started using Blogger. It's easy to use, and I like some of its features -- like letting you know when a link is last updated. But its templates are pretty boring. This week, I started playing around with Word Press. I like the templates better, and it has the ability to add different tabbed pages -- a feature Blogger lacks. It's also much easier to create a pretty cool header background/photo with Word Press. On the downside, Word Press apparently only gives you 3 GB of space; need more and they charge you. Blogger's space is free and unlimited. So I was toying around with moving my blog over to Word Press, but for now I think I'll keep my main blog on Blogger. I still want to play around with Word Press, though, so I'm going to move my Writer's Poke posts to their own Word Press blog --> http://www.writerspoke.wordpress.com/ What's your opinion? Is Word Press better o...

As Homer would say, "Mmmm... beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

The best Republican president of the 20th century was probably Ronald Reagan. The man could deliver a speech, and the country loved him. Why do the Republicans hate Barack Obama for being able to do exactly what Reagan was most famous for? What makes Obama's ability bad and Reagan's ability good? This is what I hate about politics. It's the hypocrisy. If you don't like a person's political views, fine, but don't attack a characteristic that you would otherwise praise if the candidate was of your party. And as a writer, I'm offended when Republicans now claim, as Palin did in her speech tonight, that memoirs and speeches don't matter, aren't really "doing anything" and don't have the ability to promote real change.